Family Connections

Connecting with your kids and partner

As- salaam

I find that I only really spend quality time with my boys on weekends. During the week, we all so busy, yes even my 2-year-old is busy. Their day starts at 6h30 and is at school by 7h00 until 17h00. Ahmed only gets home at 18h00 so he spends less time with them as bedtime is 19h30. Before witching hour (18h30 – 19h30),  the boys usually are able to either play or watch tv and try to finish off homework.

I sometimes feel that we forget the importance of connecting with our family. During our second adoption, we had to attend an adoption program hosted by our social worker. A topic that was covered during this program was the importance of spending time with our children are:

1. They feel important and loved.
2. They have a chance to voice their thoughts and feelings.
3. We develop a stronger bond.

So when is our quality time with them? The witching hour is our quality time with the boys.

Both boys are allowed a 15 min bath, I take Uthmaan and he gets to play in the water while I attempt to bath. If you have a busy 2-year-old like mine you would understand when I say ‘attempt’. By the end of his bath – time, I have to wipe down walls and the bathroom from all the water that was splashed. Trying to dress him is a different story, I have to on somedays chase him to put his clothes on…. like in the movies.

Ahmed baths Ebrahim, one would think that at 5-years-old there is not a lot of messing, boy am I wrong. Coz I can hear is Ebrahim’s laughter from the bathroom as his father is entertaining him and splashing water on him. Boys will be boys.

Finally, boys are dressed and ready for supper and my running around starts all over again. Cause Uthmaan doesn’t want to eat at the table he wants to play and eat. So while he plays I feed him, not an ideal way to eat, but each parent will tell you to do what you have to do to get your child to eat.

They have finished eating and know it’s our turn to eat. We learnt over the years that it’s easier to let the boys eat first and then us. We will probably on have 15 minutes at most to eat and speak about our day before we are called by either Ebrahim or Uthmaan.

Time check and it’s 19h15 another 15 minutes before bed-time, we can make it... A quick game of Hide n Go Seek.  Yes, the whole family plays Hide n Seek and we love it. Uthmaan is the cutest as he will either laugh while hiding with his brother or jump out and shout ‘I found you’.

Bed-time, boys are in bed by 19h30 and the house is so quiet you can literally hear a pin drop… until Uthmaan calls for me to come put him to sleep. By this time Ebrahim is dreaming hopefully about his next adventure.

Once our boys are asleep, does Ahmed and my night shift starts “Operation clean house and prep for tomorrow”. This is our time to connect with each other, even if we are cleaning the house.

“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa.

As - salaam Ayesha.