As-salaam
Many people
are not aware that from 1 August – 7 August is World Breastfeeding Week. The World Health Organization (WHO) is working
with many organizations to promote Breastfeeding and the importance of family
bonding. See the link to WHO event details, if you would like to do some more
reading.
This got me
thinking and in doing so I did a quick Google search on ‘Breastfeeding 2019 in
the news’. My search came back with approximately 20 news articles (opinions)
on News24. A quick glance over the articles and the points that stand out for
me are:
- Support from society
- Working environment and breastfeeding
- A Mom’s choice to breastfeed or not
Many
studies have shown the benefits of breastfeeding your baby the benefits are not
only for baby but there are benefits for Mom as well. The link below gives you
a great outline as to the benefits of breastfeeding.
How do adoptive
mom’s fit into all of this? How do we give our babies the benefits of breast milk? I am proof that you can breastfeed your baby…. Let’s allow
that to sink in for a little. Yes, I did say an adoptive mother is able to
breastfeed her baby.
Depending
on your time frame you have two options: Antidepressants or the Natural
way.
I’ve done
both, with Ebrahim I did antidepressants and Uthmaan I did the natural way.
Being a
first time Mom and not knowing any better, I went to my gynaecologist and
explained my situation and that I wanted to breastfeed my child in order to
bond with him. Islamically if my child, especially a boy, receives 5 drops (yes
only 5 drops) before he is 2-years old the boys are seen as the Mom’s Mahram (A
mahram is an unmarriageable kin with whom marriage or sexual intercourse would be considered illegal in Islam). So my aim was 5 drops if I got more it
was a bonus.
My
gynaecologist at the time prescribed an antidepressant as the side effects of
this particular one is to produce milk. Off I go and get the meds and I start
taking them, I also start doing some research on other ways to produce milk. I
found loads of information and spoke to different people. I even spoke to a
lactation consultant about breastfeeding and she was very helpful and suggested
I do the antidepressants and not the natural method as not a lot of research at
the time had been documented on it.
After being
on the meds for two and a half months I was ….. a depressed, miserable,
irritable and unpleasant person. I was the worst version of me, not even Ahmed
liked me at the time. I did not want to leave the house; I wanted no-one to
take care of my baby and that included Ahmed; I was withdrawn … I was just
miserable. One night after Ebrahim went to sleep, Ahmed sat me down and told me
what type of person I had become. At that very moment, it felt like he was
attacking me and the way I was bonding with my child. It never
occurred to me that I was this person, cause all I did and every part of me was
for my baby. Initially, I told him he is crazy and that he is imagining himself, “I am fine”.
Fast
forward a month later, I go visit my gynaecologist again. I ask him does taking
the antidepressant to have any other side-effects. YES, IT DOES, a long
list of side-effects and he runs down the list (light bulb moment) mood – swing;
irritability; distant etc. Remember I
was not depressed when I started taking the meds, I started taking the meds
because I wanted to produce milk for my baby. So the antidepressants had all
the opposite effects on me as to what it would do for a depressed person. I went
home and apologized profusely to my husband, I had no idea. I really had no
idea and no-one told me the side-effects of taking an antidepressant if you are
not depressed. I stopped taking the meds and within a week I was back to the
old me. I felt great, happy; friendly and ME.
So for
three months, I took the meds was depressed and had no milk. So I kept doing
some research (I have that never give up attitude). I am willing to do anything
to get the milk for our child. I read about how to start lactating,
use a breast pump; massage, let baby latch and eating correctly. All good and
well but where do I start or how do I start?
For about a
month I was off the meds, by this time Ebrahim was about 7 months old and very
used to his formula, I spoke to my mum and sister and they both had the same
problem, they did not produce enough milk for their babies. Okay, so it could
be in my genes that I don’t or can’t produce milk. Do I give up or not? I
still don’t give up ( told you never say die attitude).
I found
this old wives recipe for Jungle Juice. It was made up of: re-hydrate; apple
juice; blackthorn berry elixir and rescue remedy. Um, okay let's try what is
the worst that can happen. I drank this mixture for 4 months doing everything
from pumping, massage and I changed my diet slightly (less sugar). Just after
Ebrahim’s 1st birthday, I was able to give him 5 drops of milk
Alhamdulilah. I was over the moon and ran to Ahmed to tell him the good news
the next person I called was my mum and then my sister. I kept on drinking the
mixture in the hope that I would have more milk but I couldn’t produce anymore.
No worries, I was able to give him the 5 drops needed for him to be my Mahram.
When we
decided to start the process for our second adoption, I started drinking Jungle
Juice a few months before Uthmaan arrived but this time I added Fenugreek
capsules and Brewers yeast to the mix. Fortunately for us, I started early I
was only able to give Uthmaan his 5 drops before his 2nd birthday. At
some point with Uthmaan, I nearly gave up because, I had no results after being
on the Jungle Juice for 6 months. I
stopped for a few months and started it again when he turned a year. Looking
back I can definitely say that because of my never say die attitude I was able
to give my boys some of my milk which not only makes them both my Mahram but I
was able to bond with them in a very special way.
In my
opinion, I would definitely do the natural way for breastfeeding again even
though the process is very long and takes time, patience and lots of dedication,
the rewards is so great.
As-salaam
Ayesha
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